I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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