hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
