Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
