You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
