I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
