I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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