did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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