do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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