i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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