direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
