I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
