pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
