Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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