I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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