I have demons in me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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