Her vagina should come with caution tape.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
