ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
