Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We're facebook friends in real life
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
