I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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