Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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