Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
