I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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