I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
