He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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