he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
