and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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