I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
