There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
