Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
