I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
