My hand turned me down
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
