if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
