You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm just crazy horny about you
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
