I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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