You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
