the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
