that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
