I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
