Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
