I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
