Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
