I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
