put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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