ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
