don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So vagazzling was a success
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
