I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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