I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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