just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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