you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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