You're my little dorito
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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