I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
