My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
