Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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