google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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