So drunk its hurt
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
