i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
